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Friday, March 25th, 2005
11:31 am - What an awesome gaffle!


Thieves make off with three-bedroom brick house

LINDALE, Texas -� When Smith County Constable Dennis Taylor got a call reporting a stolen house, his first question was, "Is it a trailer house, ma'am?''

"No, it's a brick house,'' the real estate company representative replied.

Board by board, shingle by shingle, for nearly three months, thieves dismantled a three-bedroom brick house in this East Texas town and carted it away until only a pile of rubble was left.

Authorities allege Brandon Ray Parmer, 29, and Darrell Patrick Maxfield, 44, both of Tyler, took the house apart and sold it for drugs, in plain view of everyone cruising by along Lindale's main street.

Taylor said the men worked slowly and haphazardly in daylight, with no one questioning their work, because everyone assumed it was the work of two large retail stores laying new foundations nearby.

"It's the strangest case I've ever worked in my life,'' Taylor said. "Everybody drove by and waved at them.''

Authorities also arrested Jesse Gino Vega, 36, who is accused of giving cash and methamphetamine to the other two men in exchange for the materials from the home.

Officers got "about five trailer loads of property that came out of that house,'' Taylor said, then paused. "Well, it didn't come out of the house. It was the house.''

(3 yoinks |gaffle something)

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
11:35 pm - gafflesquad, mount up

we must have one of these signs IMMEDIATELY.

(gaffle something)

Friday, July 30th, 2004
1:40 am

gaffle this, bitches.  nonuglygamers

(gaffle something)

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004
9:22 am - To all my gafflers out there in the world...

Here's to hoping y'all are having a good one...Collapse )

I heard this song and started thinking of people to send it out to. The more I thought, the more I realized that everybody I wanted to send it out to was on the squizzad.

*pours out some of his forty for Neil who isn't with us on here*

(2 yoinks |gaffle something)

Friday, January 9th, 2004
4:53 pm

i was having a discussion with fellow master gaffler deus gafilius, AKA mixmastermike, about dremel tools and we came up with an idea. there should be a book written, a manual, if you will, on gaffling. and being THE authorities on the subject, i thought the gafflesquad should take it upon themselves to compile such a work. and so, i am requesting ideas and submissions for the gaffle manual. and just so this doesn't get put off indefinitely, i'll make a deadline of feb. 10th for all submissions. let's go to work.

current mood: creative

(5 yoinks |gaffle something)

Wednesday, November 26th, 2003
6:36 pm

i don't really know if this qualifies as a gaffle, but last night in my drunkenness i pinched my pint glass from city grocery b/c i thought i was getting screwed on my tab. i actually used to do it from time to time when i went drinking there three nights a week; my friend b.c. has an entire set of highball glasses that were once city grocery bar property.

(7 yoinks |gaffle something)

Thursday, October 16th, 2003
3:06 am - Yo James

Don't forget the full-sized Brittney Spears cardboard cut-out you stole me for my birthday last year. That was a cool ass gaffle. And it was done for somebody else, which makes it even cooler.

(2 yoinks |gaffle something)

Thursday, October 9th, 2003
4:37 pm - Finnally

Well lets see my worst gaffle or lamest would have to be old film canisters from a movie theather they were just sitting inside an office door and we were on the way out so I tought huh those will be mine SO I TOOK EM

best gaffle would have to be the human stapler staple remover various staples and other medical goodies from when I took my new jack fall now all of this was gaffled while I was contused.

thank you now could I get my damn mane

(gaffle something)

Friday, October 3rd, 2003
4:51 pm - here's hoping that i'm worthy to be among you

hi, kiddies, my gaffles are somewhat lame, but i'm apprenticing under master joey. i'll do better. soon! i promise!

most useful gaffle: various and sundry office supplies from those nazi cunt-rags. my fave is the sortquik; it takes magazine-reading to a whole new level.

gaffle i'm most proud of: the prunella clough exhibition poster i pinched for leah while i was at the university of essex. there weren't any for sale, so i was forced to go under cover of dusk and just TAKE one off a wall in the history of art department.

long-ago-and-far-away gaffles: scores of books from the library at my high school. i got a bunch of great out-of-print hardbacks in MINT condition from that joint. and i'm CERTAIN that no-one has missed even one of them.

so there it is. for now. MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!

(gaffle something)

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003
2:20 pm - I'm finally able to sit down and do this, so here goes:

Finest Gaffle: I'd have to say that it'd be the sign that Mike, Joey and I took down out on the road to Sardis. When that fucker bent the hammer, I just knew we were gonna get it eventually, even if it did take two trips.

Worst Gaffle: a tortilla warmer from Ruby Tuesday's in Biloxi.

Honorable Mention: This has to be said: I was in Yunnan Province and the whole town of LiJiang was closed down. We paid a bus driver to sneak us up this mountain. We had to get in the back of the bus and close the curtains, etc. It was awesome. We made it up the mountain with no problem. We didn't steal anything, but we infiltrated a closed Chinese national park. I think that's good for something.

(5 yoinks |gaffle something)

Wednesday, September 17th, 2003
1:49 pm - Ain't Nuttin to Fuck wit

Favorite Gaffle:
Tie between the illicit snagging of the Fuelman (from the glorious 4-corner / Chicken-on-a-stick Exxon) with spiderslacker, and the sweat and hardwork it took to steal the vintage wall ashtray out of the women's bathroom in Bryant during class one day. I had to use a screwdriver AND a wrench to steal that bitch approximately 100 yards from the Dean of the Department's office. Fortunately, that bitch didn't have to pee while I was there.

Stupidest Gaffle:
The numerous McAlister's numbers that I occasionally snagged when they forgot them on our table. (lame)

Best Gaffle:
All y'all's hearts, mofukas!

current mood: energetic

(gaffle something)

12:09 am

well, would you look at that? mixmastermike has performed the first gaffle of the community. sir, my hat is off to you. congratulations on gaffling time.

current mood: amused

(gaffle something)

Thursday, January 1st, 1970
5:54 pm - Gaffle is the Squizod!

And I am Sci Fi.

Worst gaffle: Under the category of "most lame" and also "shit, there's nothing out here" I'd have to place the rope I grabbed from a temporary shelter at Sardis. I had to get something...oh well.

Best gaffle: The eventual victory that Der Kommisar, El Rey and I enjoyed over a county highway sign. It took two (two!) motherfucking trips, a flashlight, a hammer that ended up being bent to 90 degrees and finally a hack saw and the awesome might of the Squad to get the sign, but we got it.

(1 yoink |gaffle something)

Tuesday, September 16th, 2003
10:33 pm - Gaffles of note

Coolest: joint gaffle with igorxa and his then gf: 7 shot glasses, 4 of them Jagermeisters with the shape of hurricane glasses. Those were subsequently given to my father, who was expressly forbidden to ask how I came by them.
Lamest: Garbage bags from my dorm. Though in my defense, it saved me a trip to the store.

(gaffle something)

8:29 pm

coolest gaffle: difficult choice, considering the prolific career of el rey de gafilar, but i would have to say that chair dog is the best gaffle, with assistance from our long lost brother, meethune. there are, of course, many many other notables. a full list will be posted eventually.

lamest gaffle: also a difficult choice, as el rey de gafilar has high standards for his gaffle runs, but perhaps the ashtrays from burger king (early in his career, mind you), the foil kind. to compensate, a stop sign was gaffled that very night.

current mood: reminiscent

(gaffle something)

8:05 pm - Fuel for every new member to post...

coolest gaffle: Two Fuelman signs from outside of a packed 4-corner-Chevron (assist given to cleahpatra for getaway driver).

lamest gaffle: A chili-patterned, tiny potholder for a skillet handle from, of all places, Chili's.

current mood: amused

(gaffle something)

6:56 pm

welcome to gaffle squad. i am your maintainer and community owner. please refer to the community userinfo for details.

(3 yoinks |gaffle something)

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